Spicing Up Your Marriage After Kids | Being Jane

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Spicing Up Your Marriage After Kids

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #YoursandMine #CollectiveBias


You know how it goes: you meet your husband in a whirlwind romance, you're spontaneous and silly, you make your own rules and schedules, and then it happens. You have kids.

Don't get me wrong, Daniel and I LOVE our girls and we are having so much fun with them in this stage of life. But having two little girls under three years old has severely affected our ability to be intimate. Add in the fact that we co-sleep with our babies, breastfeed them, and have them sharing a room right now, and that brings more disruption into the mix!


Life wasn't always this chaotic for us. Well, if you knew our story you might think we look for chaos and crazy! 

It all started on March 27, 2008.....

I had just moved to Arizona from San Diego, and started a new job at a popular restaurant near my sister's house where I lived on her couch. During a slow moment some of us congregated in the back and were chatting about things, when I heard this guy I worked with mention that he was from San Diego. My ears perked up and I asked him what area he had lived in, and over the course of a few minutes we found out that we had grown up just a few miles apart, and had mutual connections from back home! I found out his name was Daniel, and he had just moved to the valley a month before me.

A little later that evening Daniel asked me if I wanted to come over after work and watch a movie with him, his roommate, and his roommate's girlfriend. I eagerly said yes, but I tried play it cool so I didn't come across too excited.

We ended up watching one of my favorite musicals, and I couldn't have fallen in love faster because of that, except his entire apartment was decorated with classic movie stars, and black and silver accents, just like my room back home. Wouldn't you say it was fate?

The next day I found out that Daniel's roommate had been arrested and this happened the day before he needed to pay rent. I needed my own space, and so I offered to move in and pay the other half of the bill! Just two days later, only five days after our first "date" (can I call it that?) we found ourselves talking on the couch about our future dreams and desires. This led to us talking about our lives together and he said "did we just get engaged?" and I said "I think we did!"

A week later I came home from a long day out with a girl friend (who just happened to keep me out on purpose) to find Daniel on bended knee, and our friends and family gathered behind him in our living room. Obviously, I said yes, and we were married six months later on the beach in San Diego!


As you can see, we were used to exciting, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants, spontaneous decisions, and we lived our entire relationship that way. Our marriage was light, full of silly dates, and back-to-back movies at the theater. Then we had Emma, and two years later we had Audrey. What a blessing! As much fun as we have as a family of four, the changes didn't come without affecting our ability to be intimate.


We joke that we need to "hop to" right after bedtime hits for the kids, because if we wait too long we will inevitably be interrupted by a teething toddler or preschooler having a nightmare. Because of this we often don't even try. That isn't healthy and we notice! To keep our marriage alive and  connected, we need to stir up the passion regularly, and we honestly don't have time to take it slow. I've found KY® YOURS+MINE at our local Walmart, and I've noticed that by incorporating it into our "married time" that we can still make it fun and have that passion, and can experience that connection before our little ones wake up needing us!

In light of Valentine's Day, KY® YOURS+MINE has a date night edition that includes one free meal for two from PeachDish.com delivered to your door, and a $5 movie credit from VuDu! If you'd like to get one for you and yours, but want to be discreet, you can head over to the Walmart website and purchase it there! To find even more ways to spice up your marriage, visit K-Y.com!


Do you have any tips for making those intimate moments happen after kids? I'd love to hear them!



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