January 2015 | Being Jane

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Spicing Up Your Marriage After Kids

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #YoursandMine #CollectiveBias


You know how it goes: you meet your husband in a whirlwind romance, you're spontaneous and silly, you make your own rules and schedules, and then it happens. You have kids.

Don't get me wrong, Daniel and I LOVE our girls and we are having so much fun with them in this stage of life. But having two little girls under three years old has severely affected our ability to be intimate. Add in the fact that we co-sleep with our babies, breastfeed them, and have them sharing a room right now, and that brings more disruption into the mix!


Life wasn't always this chaotic for us. Well, if you knew our story you might think we look for chaos and crazy! 

It all started on March 27, 2008.....

I had just moved to Arizona from San Diego, and started a new job at a popular restaurant near my sister's house where I lived on her couch. During a slow moment some of us congregated in the back and were chatting about things, when I heard this guy I worked with mention that he was from San Diego. My ears perked up and I asked him what area he had lived in, and over the course of a few minutes we found out that we had grown up just a few miles apart, and had mutual connections from back home! I found out his name was Daniel, and he had just moved to the valley a month before me.

A little later that evening Daniel asked me if I wanted to come over after work and watch a movie with him, his roommate, and his roommate's girlfriend. I eagerly said yes, but I tried play it cool so I didn't come across too excited.

We ended up watching one of my favorite musicals, and I couldn't have fallen in love faster because of that, except his entire apartment was decorated with classic movie stars, and black and silver accents, just like my room back home. Wouldn't you say it was fate?

The next day I found out that Daniel's roommate had been arrested and this happened the day before he needed to pay rent. I needed my own space, and so I offered to move in and pay the other half of the bill! Just two days later, only five days after our first "date" (can I call it that?) we found ourselves talking on the couch about our future dreams and desires. This led to us talking about our lives together and he said "did we just get engaged?" and I said "I think we did!"

A week later I came home from a long day out with a girl friend (who just happened to keep me out on purpose) to find Daniel on bended knee, and our friends and family gathered behind him in our living room. Obviously, I said yes, and we were married six months later on the beach in San Diego!


As you can see, we were used to exciting, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants, spontaneous decisions, and we lived our entire relationship that way. Our marriage was light, full of silly dates, and back-to-back movies at the theater. Then we had Emma, and two years later we had Audrey. What a blessing! As much fun as we have as a family of four, the changes didn't come without affecting our ability to be intimate.


We joke that we need to "hop to" right after bedtime hits for the kids, because if we wait too long we will inevitably be interrupted by a teething toddler or preschooler having a nightmare. Because of this we often don't even try. That isn't healthy and we notice! To keep our marriage alive and  connected, we need to stir up the passion regularly, and we honestly don't have time to take it slow. I've found KY® YOURS+MINE at our local Walmart, and I've noticed that by incorporating it into our "married time" that we can still make it fun and have that passion, and can experience that connection before our little ones wake up needing us!

In light of Valentine's Day, KY® YOURS+MINE has a date night edition that includes one free meal for two from PeachDish.com delivered to your door, and a $5 movie credit from VuDu! If you'd like to get one for you and yours, but want to be discreet, you can head over to the Walmart website and purchase it there! To find even more ways to spice up your marriage, visit K-Y.com!


Do you have any tips for making those intimate moments happen after kids? I'd love to hear them!



Saturday, January 10, 2015

Sisters and Big Families

I woke up in my sister's house in Livermore this morning. Emma slept in her cousin's bottom bunk bed... Audrey slept with me on the pullout couch bed... Daniel and my sister's husband stayed at our hotel room so they could actually have beds to sleep on and no little people to wake them in the morning! See, we all stayed up until 2am last night, the guys playing Sega Genesis games while we sisters chatted on the couch like old times....


They used to live an hour from us in Arizona, but they moved back to California in 2011 and now we take turns visiting each other every year. So far we keep making our trips during the start of each new year! It's turning into a fun tradition.

Being with my sister is such food for my soul. just today my (AZ) sister Tiffany and I started a Voxer conversation with our sister here so that we can all chat again like we did back in the good days of being in the same metro area. We have to work harder to talk now but we can't make it very long without talking! I'm pretty sure we all talk every day at some point which is so special to me.

You see, none of my siblings have the same mom and dad as I do. Have I mentioned this before? I have seven sisters and one brother. Six of them have the same dad as I do, and two of them have the same mom as I do. I have always considered myself the connector, because we have all blended together despite the "halves" and "steps". You know what though? None of us refer to each other way, and we all just appreciate the fact that we have each other. It's really a beautiful thing and I love each and every one of them! It's also special, for me, because I have siblings that range in age from 13 to 51. All walks of life. All different experiences. And all so amazing.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Did You Know?

Alright folks, it's time for another "get to know me" post! One can never share too much about themselves on their own blog, can they? HA! Kidding, of course. The real challenge is thinking of things that I haven't told you all before.

- I have never watched the Star Trek TV show.

- I have been pregnant three times, and have two children.

- I avoid conflict.

- Cherry slurpees give me a headache. As do skittles, and any sweet item with prominent food dyes.

- I cannot handle horror movies or intense criminal shows due to having nightmares about them later.

- I have moved 13 times, and I am about to add another one to that list next month!

- I am 26 years old.

- No matter how much I have tried to love it, I cannot drink red wine unless it is my only option! Then I say some wine is better than no wine at all!

- We used to own a dwarf hamster named Ledger, and two full-sized hamsters named Robo and Cop.

Now ask me something YOU want to know about me! I'll answer next week. We are off on an adventure tomorrow and I can't wait to overload a post with photos next week! I hope your new year is going beautifully!