Love Dare - Day 3 - Love Is Not Selfish | Being Jane

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Love Dare - Day 3 - Love Is Not Selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. -- Romans 12:10

Love is not selfish. That is tough to swallow when you're thinking of yourself in a relationship, because the most common thing we start to think in relationships is "what about my feelings?"... "what about my needs?"...

God wants us to serve our spouse/significant other. That doesn't mean waiting on them hand and foot, or not standing up for ourselves, but it means being positive and encouraging in their efforts to excel in life.. it means taking care of them as we want them to take care of us.. it means putting our wants on the backburner to devote our energy to their wants. By doing so they are more likely to feel appreciated and loved, and more likely to want  to dote on us as well. If your partner doesn't give you attention, respect, or love, do you feel more inclined to treat them that way or does it make you want to ignore them as well? When they are kind and loving to you, and take your needs into account, does that make you want to do the same?

I am convicted of this. When my husband isn't doing what I want him to do for me, I don't want to do things for him. When I don't take care of him, he doesn't want to take care of me. That is a normal feeling. Neglect and selfishness fuels discontent, frustration, and hardened hearts. Love, attention, and affirmation fuels romance and joy in a relationship. 

If you haven't watched Fireproof yet, I challenge you to do so this week. Even if you feel your marriage is wonderful and not struggling in the slightest, it is a GREAT reminder of how things can spiral if we aren't careful to tend to our marriage. Also, take the Love Dare Assessment here. It opened my eyes to the areas that I need to work on. That will improve my marriage as well, if I am actively pursuing positive change in my actions. 

This post is apart of a 40-day Love Dare series that has been put together by Tausha at Taush.O, and each day there is a printable with that day's dare on it. Tausha will be posting all of the printables on her blog each Sunday, and a different blogger will be expanding on each dare on their personal blogs each day of the week. Join in and improve your marriage along with all of us! 


  1. "Love, attention, and affirmation fuels romance and joy in a relationship." You need to make a printable that says THAT. Loved your post, lovey.

  2. I love this dare! I need to get to the store now! I agree that it can be hard to show love when you aren't feeling it. But it is so rewarding if you do! Thanks for sharing!