I Want To Be Present | Being Jane

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I Want To Be Present



I've checked out a lot lately. Floating through days. Going through the day to day motions that ensure everyone is taken care of. Everyone but me.
I'm not the best version of me that I can be right now.

I dropped two classes this week, at the encouragement of my husband. My days are filled with the girls, the other two girls I watch, homework, housework, Thrive Moms, swim class... This doesn't include trying to make time to find a LifeGroup at church, spending time with the husband I am ignoring, or finding me time. I dropped my two most difficult classes, and that puts me at half-time. 

It was an incredibly hard voice but it was worth it. My husband could see that I am stretched too thin and he wanted to help me find a way to make some room. 

Every day I want to be present for my girls. I want them to have mommy involved in their moments and not on an iPhone. Not buried in the computer. I have been blogging less often than I want to because the "free" time I have needs to go to my family, if I find any free time. 

I went so far, the other day, to print a calendar full of all of my daily responsibilities. I went so far as to put my husband on the calendar. That's when I realized how busy my days are, and I don't want that. I am still trying to find ways to cut busyness so that I can focus on what is most important: my family and myself.

Finding the balance is always the struggle isn't it? Where do you need to find balance?

5 comments:

  1. I struggle so bad with being present. Every single day!

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  2. I have been wondering lately how to fit my FT job, a side sales gig and blogging into my life while still having time for me and my husband (no kids yet)... after reading your obligations above I'm now thinking I have it pretty easy!

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  3. Honestly, 4 years ago I was where you are at and I was so overwhelmed. Now I look back with fondness lol! Everyone adjusts to what they can handle. Once you have kids you adjust again :) If you're feeling stressed and pulled in too many directions listen to your heart, that's what I have had to do.

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  4. I just wrote on looking back on the first years of Dakotas life and how I am working on being more present and cherishing those little moments with her! :) Meditation, Yoga, Growing in my faith, and learning to say no have all helped me get to a point where I notice myself enjoying moments, instead of stressing about everything that I need to do.

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