I've checked out a lot lately. Floating through days. Going through the day to day motions that ensure everyone is taken care of. Everyone but me.
I'm not the best version of me that I can be right now.
I dropped two classes this week, at the encouragement of my husband. My days are filled with the girls, the other two girls I watch, homework, housework, Thrive Moms, swim class... This doesn't include trying to make time to find a LifeGroup at church, spending time with the husband I am ignoring, or finding me time. I dropped my two most difficult classes, and that puts me at half-time.
It was an incredibly hard voice but it was worth it. My husband could see that I am stretched too thin and he wanted to help me find a way to make some room.
Every day I want to be present for my girls. I want them to have mommy involved in their moments and not on an iPhone. Not buried in the computer. I have been blogging less often than I want to because the "free" time I have needs to go to my family, if I find any free time.
I went so far, the other day, to print a calendar full of all of my daily responsibilities. I went so far as to put my husband on the calendar. That's when I realized how busy my days are, and I don't want that. I am still trying to find ways to cut busyness so that I can focus on what is most important: my family and myself.
Finding the balance is always the struggle isn't it? Where do you need to find balance?