See this girl? This is my Bean. My sweet, sweet, loving little Bean.
You guys, I've been quiet this week because we have been dealing with some really hard days with Emma. This has been going on for a couple of months now but over the last couple of weeks it has been escalating to a level that we can't manage on our own.
I'm always raw and open with you all. I have a policy with myself to not hide hard times. This, though... This is hard. I'm not sure where to start or how to describe what is going on.
Most everyone that I talk to about this tells me it is normal for a 2.5 year old. Almost everyone tells me I am overreacting. Everyone except two sweet friends and my husband.
But I'm not overreacting. I have spent my life working with children under the age of 3 and I have never seen a child act this way, even the most troubled child.
Emma's symptoms resemble a disorder that isn't very big in the pediatric world yet. Some doctors don't even think it should be a "thing". I'm almost convinced she has some form of it though. She has been battling sever emotional distress over different elements in her day. Yesterday it was her sandwich being "closed" instead of "open". Some nights it is her nightgown not being straight or long enough. Other times it is a severe meltdown of sobbing, high-pitched crying, anxiety, and years over something as minuscule as a toy not being in the right place, or her car seat buckle being latched.
I don't know what to do. My heart is aching because amidst her sweet smiles and joyful moments, she is struggling to hard with these anxieties and breakdowns, incapable of bouncing back and calming down. I hate seeing her battle this. I don't know what is wrong. I want so badly to get help for her that I am self-diagnosing her left and right to help myself find answers so that I can assist her better.
She is a brilliant little girl. So bright. So happy. So curious. So loving. She doesn't deserve to live her little life inhibited by these issues.
We are meeting with her pediatrician next week to get a referral for her to be evaluated. She is also going to preschool 2 half days a week starting next month, for a change of scenery and socialization.
Please bear with me as we figure this out. I'll try to be here as much as I can, but my tank is empty most nights. It's not fair to Daniel or Audrey either. I'm just hoping we can get some answers and she can get help as soon as possible.