Last night I went to Derek and Julianne Hough's "Move Live on Tour" show (more on that later), and at the end they dared us to do what we love. To do it even if it means sacrificing something else in life or rearranging your expectations of your normal.
They said "it doesn't have to be dance, it can be whatever makes you feel alive".
Well for me it IS dance, and watching them perform for two hours LIVE! (subtle DWTS reference) really lit the fire and ache I have to be a performer.
I don't know how to pull it off. I don't know how to make my passion happen. I haven't actively danced in over 6 years! Daniel has worked so hard to give me the time and finances to get back into it but each time the situation fails. One time it was a class that wasn't challenging me, the next time it was my miscarriage that forced me to withdraw.
Daniel has gone as far as buying me Dance Central and Zumba for the XBox to help me stay connected to my passion! I sure try, but I really miss performing and being challenged with choreography. I miss lyrical, jazz, tap, swing, ballet...
With two small children, responsibilities, being college students, financial priorities... It just isn't the time for me to go off and try to get back into this. Ironically I was about to last year when Emma was finally old enough to be fed and put to bed without me. And then we decided to have another :)
One day this will happen. I don't know how, but I know it is what I love. I've struggled with my personal identity for a couple of years, outside of being a wife and mother. I call myself a dancer. But I don't dance. I call myself a singer, an actor, a writer... But I don't do any of those things right now. So how do I embrace my identity while keeping up with my daily responsibilities? How does Daniel find what defines his personal dreams outside of school and work and the Marines?
I think this is the plight of all of us adults. The challenge is: do we stay stagnant? Or do we try to keep our passions alive?