A Picture Perfect Lie | Being Jane

Sunday, July 6, 2014

A Picture Perfect Lie

You read the title right, that isn't a typo. 

Do we all represent ourselves too perfectly? Are we afraid of showing our scars, our hang ups, imperfections, and struggles? Do some of us complain too much? Do we only talk about our kids and their accomplishments instead of letting others know our kids throw tantrums too?

Today I was asking myself if I come across like I'm trying too hard or if people think I act like I am above others. 

I only want everyone to see my real heart. Not the part of me that stresses about what to wear everyday so that others can't "judge" me. Not the part of me that worries about how little or how much makeup I should wear. Not the part of me that cares too much about how my house looks to others.

Truthfully I'm struggling with balance right now. I either feel like Emma is getting the short end of the stick, or Audrey. I'm constantly worried that Audrey isn't getting as much of me as Emma did and therefore isn't learning like Emma did. I'm always falling behind on the house. I'm always doing homework the hour before it's due. I always feel like I'm fitting Daniel in, and then racing to bed to get enough hours in before the girls get up at 6am. I don't have time to read or do things for me at night because nothing is ever done and we all have needs that have to be met before I can take a timeout. 
Daniel works his butt off 5-6 days a week, sometimes 7, and can never catch a break. And I'm not there for him like he needs me to be. Heck, I complain everytime he asks me to make his lunch to take to work and usually all he wants is PB&J. Seriously, what kind of lazy wife am I?

The boos and professionals say to put your spouse first, and then your kids. But when they are little that is almost impossible. I don't know how it's done. If someone has figured out this balance let me know! My scale is completely uneven right now.

1 comment:

  1. Finding balance in life can be so difficult! And just when I think one area is getting just the right amount of attention, I realize that another area in my life is lacking!