Ways Help Out New Moms! | Being Jane

Friday, November 1, 2013

Ways Help Out New Moms!

photo by The Coral Peacock Photography

Hi there!  I'm Denise, over from Gratefully Inspired and I am
thrilled to be here while Leanne snuggles her newest addition :)  I
recently added to my family and now have a 3 month old baby girl!  Georgia Grace Lopatka was born July 30, 2013 and she has changed my world and my heart forever - for the better.  The
past three months have been the best in the world.  Truly.  But also
the hardest.  Being a mom is hard work.  But again, the best work.
 I am so thankful for my friends and family and all the support they have
given me over the past few months that I decided to compile a list of ways you
can help out a new mama.  Enjoy!

Georgia - 2 months!

1.  Bring dinner.  This is
pretty much a given and most people do this already.  But seriously.
 Meals are the least of a new mama's worries when she's running on
negative sleep and sore all over.  So bring food.

2.  Don't come over without food.
 OK so just because you didn't sign up to bring a dinner, bring some other
kind of food.  A snack, a frozen pizza, cereal, a double-fudge brownie
sundae - ANYTHING.  Because trips to the grocery store are highly unlikely
for the new mama.

3.  Don't ask to the hold the baby
under 2ish weeks.  This may be my personal opinion but as a new mama I was
so overwhelmed with emotions.  I was so grateful for friends who stopped
by and didn't always expect to hold my baby.  It is refreshing to see
friends and have them there for support, but not feel like your child has to be
passed around like a  football.  Now, don't get me wrong, I let my
friends hold my baby - but I was able to ask them if they wanted to hold her
when I was ready.  So much better.

4.  BE. ON. TIME.  If you and a
new mama decide on a time for you to drop by, bring dinner, say hello, do the
dishes - whatever - arrive at the agreed upon time.  Seriously.
 There is nothing more stressful for a new mama than unexpected guests.
 And that includes extremely late guests.  When you aren't sleeping
and you have a newborn (aka a ticking time bomb) it is nice to be able to
expect visitors.  And nothing is more frustrating for a new mama than
prepping her baby and her house for a guest, only to sit and wait on said guest
for 30 minutes.  Even if you are bringing dinner to help.  The
tardiness cancels out the helpful gesture.  Not cool.  Be on time.

5.  Don't stay longer than 30 minutes
- at least for the first few weeks.  Again, new mamas do not need to feel
like they need to entertain.  So don't come over and make yourself all
cozy expecting a 2 hour catch-up sesh.  New mama is tired.  No. Exhausted.  So once your
half-hour time slot is up, politely say she looks fabulous and you can't wait
to spend more time together soon.  Then leave.

1 day old!

6.  Text.  Don't call.
 Texting is so much easier and frankly in those first few weeks new mama
doesn't want to talk about details.  She will call you when she's ready.

7.  If you do call, leave a voicemail
reminding her she doesn't need to call you back.  I received some of the
sweetest calls from my best friends after Georgia was born.  And I loved
when my friends said, "don't call me back, I know you're busy, just know
we love you and Georgia."  I know they wouldn't have been mad had I
not called them back, but the fact that they put it out there and set the tone
that it was not the expectation took a lot of weight off my shoulders.
 Thank you friends :)

8.  If you do stop by - help.
 Walk the dog, wipe down the kitchen counters, take out the trash -
something.  Something little - but something.  And don't ask or tell
her that you are doing it.  Just do it.  Like a quiet angel fairy at

9.  Tell new mama she looks beautiful
- even if she looks like she got hit by a truck.  Because let's face it -
after labor, post-labor swelling and absolutely NO sleep - even Gisele probably
looked a little rough.  And new mama's emotions are fragile.  She
needs to here she looks fabulous.

10.  Be there.  Judgment free.
 Really the most important thing you can do for a new mama is be there.
 Having friends that she know she can call to vent, cry or laugh with
during this special and hard time is so so important.  SO just make sure
your new mama knows you've got her back.  

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